I promised in the last blog entitled FEAR that I was hoping to resume with the story of my journey out of religion, and as noted this next sequel of my walk back to the Torah and to a Covenant Relationship with Messiah follows on from the pervious writing entitled Tough Choices on the way to Mt. Sinai.
As with the previous Tough Choices on the way to Mt. Sinai I shall need to write in the first person because to do otherwise would, I believe, rob this missive, and any others on this particular topic which may follow, of their authenticity, personality and most importantly, their Divine Source thus rendering them useless as Spiritual weapons of YHWH - Eph. 2:2 arw Eph. 6:10-18 & Rev. 12:11.
As I look for a title for this missive, I am being shepherded into considering this entire period of my life again and I now have come to the stark realisation that I shall not be able to wrap this all up nice and tidily in a few missives as I had thought originally precisely because I hope to be able to, and more importantly am required to, put down all I believe must be said in a logical and understandable format, but to do that I shall need to include caveats and sidebars (stories within the story) and much more to try and get across what I feel compelled to put out.
It is not my story, it is The Testimony of Messiah Yeshua which HE has entrusted to me and therefore I must guard, keep and nurture HIS Testimony, HIS Word, HIS Seed! Gen. 2:15
In order to get started I shall have to explore something that I will definitely need to expound on later. You see dear reader up to now I have seen my physical journey and much of what happened in this entire season of time in a more physical light, and that is how I originally thought I should approached the journalling of these events; however I am now really for the first time seeing the subtle, but oh so important fact that the physical side was and still is an ongoing part of the preparation for the renewing of both the physical and spiritual areas of my entire person - heart, spirit & soul.
Being given the freedom now to record these events for the first time has also released me to see all that I did, almost step for step, event by event, as having possibly a greater spiritual lesson than the more obvious and visible physical exercise, a much greater value than my efforts, whatever they may have been.
Is that not what it is all about dear reader, to be led through the Ruach of Messiah into actions of obedience which allow us to do as Yeshua did, and what our Master Yeshua did and does was/is only what He has/is seen/seeing and heard/hearing from Our Father? Heb. 5:1-8; John 5:19-20
So please, I ask forgiveness if I may have created certain expectations amongst some of you, especially those of you who have asked me WHERE IS THE LINK FOR THE WALK TO ISRAEL? Hopefully The Ruach will assist me to make very clear in this missive, and hopefully those to follow, that this whole episode of my life began my true walk out of Egypt and Babylon back to Israel, a journey I have not as yet completed, but that shall only be accomplished when our Messiah returns!
This period of my life which I am attempting to record in hindsight can now be seen by me for what it was and I consider it to have been a sort of "Damascus Road" experience, and by that I mean this whole process/period can also be related to a more decisive and permanent coming out of both "Egypt" & "Babylon" and moving in physical (work, employment - physical actions) and spiritual (towards Torah rule away from confused denominational rule) back TO ISRAEL -
To try and put a little perspective on what I mean to say will need me to jump ahead to the days just before my departure from Dar e Salaam to Kenya bringing to the end a most enjoyable time where I was with a group of loving German missionaries.
I shall need to visit here for a while longer and hopefully you will all bear with me, because I believe I need to do this so that this can be seen to have nothing to do with anybody, but HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH AND TO THE GLORY OF YHWH OUR ELOHIM! For us at best we can only hope to be obedient instruments of Love in His Hands so as to one day be invited to dine with HIM at HIS Table, at HIS Wedding Feast!
I had spent a while with this group of Missionaries before I met Dieter for the first time face to face. You see dear reader, Dieter, worked under the Maasai Nation, and on my arrival at this groups mission station Dieter was out in the field.
Dieter came back to the station a few days later. Now being that we were on a mission station with seemingly more missionaries than accommodation, Dieter and I shared a bedroom together once he came back: But here dear reader is the heart of a servant; Dieter's group had acquired some containers which they changed into bed-rooms with working space for the permanent missionaries, guest like myself were housed in the main house.
I am used to heat, but let it be known that Dar e Salaam in mid-January is a tropical nightmare and unfortunately the house was old & massively hot, I mean really hot, where as the containers where Dieter and the others slept were much more ventilated and cooler - Dieter gave over occupancy of his container to another visitor from Germany whom I was supposed to bunk up with AND MOVED INTO MY STUFFY HOT ROOM TO KEEP ME COMPANY! And this he did immediately on meeting me for the first time, it was not a question that he needed to, or had got to know what a great guy I am (ha ha joke) - HE JUST GAVE UP HIS ROOM OUT OF LOVE FOR HIS, UNTIL THEN UNKNOWN, BROTHER IN MESSIAH FROM NAMIBIA!
This arrangement did however have the benefit of us being able to speak late into the night, it enabled us to pray together, study Scripture and strangely enough speak about Namibia, family and common experiences in Afrikaans from time to time (this is something I discovered very quickly, when deprived of your language, culture and so forth you feel extremely lonely and exposed).
Anyway the day came for my departure from Dar e Salaam and the mission station arrived, I was now planning to move North to Kenya with other missionaries that I also had miraculously met (another whole chapter in and of itself), and believe it or not as I stated above, sitting here today praying and trying to write this blog for the umpteenth time, I, for the very first time, see a deeper aspect of Dieter's parting words to me now than I did then, these words were:
I was so humbled, but when this young man gave me some of the money he had received just the previous day from people who sponsored his work in Tanzania, he then uttered the words "Thank you" to say that I was rocked to my core would be an understatement!
As YHWH willed this young brother in Messiah died in an accident in the Mission field's of Tanzania just a few months after this episode, but praise YHWH I was able to see him again before he was taken home.
A few months after his death, I was back in Tsumeb, Dieter's father approached me at a prayer meeting (his parents are children of the most high) and put one of Dieter's last letters into my hand and asked me to read it; the letter was a news letter addressed to people on his mailing list - IN THIS LETTER DIETER SAID THAT HE HAD BEEN CHALLENGED TO SEARCH HIMSELF, AND WAS COMPELLED TO ASK HIMSELF & OTHERS "HAVE WE GIVEN UP EVERYTHING FOR JESUS?"
Well here was young man who had given up everything for His Elohim, literally! What an honour to have known him, and what an honour to have been used in some way, but what is indeed humbling is that I was not even aware that I had served him, and at my weakest I was needing to be served by him!
YHWH Elohim allowed me to serve one of HIS Disciples, one of HIS Royal Priests in the eternal Order of Melchizedek, and more importantly for me, YHWH allowed me to serve a Brother in Messiah AND I DID NOT EVEN KNOW I WAS SERVING HIM!
The Dieter I grew to know in that short time I do not believe would ever have thought highly of himself, in fact if he were here now he may have even told me not to write what I have, but I write not to honour him, and definitely not in honour to myself - I MAKE MENTION OF THIS TO THE HONOUR AND THE GLORY OF OUR MESSIAH AND KING YESHUA HAMESSIACH, OUR REDEEMER!
I know today that I will most certainly see a glorified Dieter some day, then we shall talk again of Namibia, Tanzania AND THE ETERNITY OF YESHUA!
That is part of my hope in Messiah, that is part of my journey back to Yisrael - a journey which I undertook 16 years ago and which I am only now really beginning to reap the fruits of.
So what if anything have I learnt from "walking to Israel" so far? It never ends this side of eternity, it constantly provides us with Fruit from the Tree of Life, and most importantly - THE WALK TO ISREAL IS A JOURNEY OF DISCOVERING MESSIAH AND BEING IN HIM, TRUSTING HIM NO MATTER WHAT THE PHYSICAL MAY LOOK LIKE: THE WALK TO ISRAEL IS ABOUT ME GETTING OUT OF MYSELF, GIVING MY ALL, WHICH IS NOT MINE ANYWAY, SO THAT I CAN DISCOVER MYSELF IN MESSIAH YESHUA OUR PROTECTION AND HIGH TOWER. THE WALK TO ISRAEL HAS MUCH MORE TO DO WITH OUR SPIRIT THAN OUR FLESH!
Here I shall stop, there is a tome of writing still under this blog, but that dear brother and sister in Messiah is for another day, Abba willing.
May I please leave each and every one of us with this thought/Question?
"HAVE WE GIVEN UP EVERYTHING FOR YHWH?"
That is as far as my walk to Yisrael has taken me today, and I hope you have been able to come along on the walk with me, but please let us now stop looking at each other and judging and let us know that if we are not able to give up everything for our Messiah, our Betrothed, and this includes our prejudices and wills -WE WILL NOT GET TO WALK TO YISRAEL. IT IS HIM WHO MAKES US FAMILY, IT IS HIM WHO ALLOWS US TO WALK TO YISRAEL - IF WE WILL LET HIM LEAD US!
Shabbat shalom in Messiah Yeshua
Bo'az
This period of my life which I am attempting to record in hindsight can now be seen by me for what it was and I consider it to have been a sort of "Damascus Road" experience, and by that I mean this whole process/period can also be related to a more decisive and permanent coming out of both "Egypt" & "Babylon" and moving in physical (work, employment - physical actions) and spiritual (towards Torah rule away from confused denominational rule) back TO ISRAEL -
- Egypt =caused by a more physical change to my life style dependencies on regular income and its limitations (H4714 - Misrahyim = from the root H6696 - Tsoor = cramp, confine, hem in, siege distress, fence in, limit, Egyptians) at the same time these actions caused my confused "denominational theology" and "religious practices" which affected and ruled my day to day secular life to be dispelled and forcibly abandoned as well thus:-
- Babylon = was being, the spiritual aspect of my life was being destroyed/departed from (H894 - Babel = from the root H1101 - Balal = confusion, overflow (specifically with oil - anointing?); by implication to mix, mingle, tempter, to graze - Babel, Babylon) Please Read Ps. 1, this Psalm played a rather poignant role in my life during this stage of my development when I later had to physically walk out of the denominations, but that is something we shall address later.
To try and put a little perspective on what I mean to say will need me to jump ahead to the days just before my departure from Dar e Salaam to Kenya bringing to the end a most enjoyable time where I was with a group of loving German missionaries.
I shall need to visit here for a while longer and hopefully you will all bear with me, because I believe I need to do this so that this can be seen to have nothing to do with anybody, but HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH AND TO THE GLORY OF YHWH OUR ELOHIM! For us at best we can only hope to be obedient instruments of Love in His Hands so as to one day be invited to dine with HIM at HIS Table, at HIS Wedding Feast!
I am quite sure I shall talk about this period of my journey which I have now jumped to here in much more detail later, but for the present I wish to just relate the following:
It was there in Dar e Salaam that I first met a young a man named Dieter Basson, who as it turned out, and as only YHWH can orchestrate for us if we walk in HIS Way as purposefully and obediently as we can, was the son of a man I know well and who lived not 10 kilometres from me in Tsumeb at that time, YET I ONLY FOUND THAT DIETER EVEN EXISTED AND WAS THIS THIS MAN'S SON ONCE I WAS TOLD TO START WALKING TO YISRAEL AND BEGAN TO TAKE CONCRETE STEPS IN THAT DIRECTION. (The Jordan was parting).
I had spent a while with this group of Missionaries before I met Dieter for the first time face to face. You see dear reader, Dieter, worked under the Maasai Nation, and on my arrival at this groups mission station Dieter was out in the field.
Dieter came back to the station a few days later. Now being that we were on a mission station with seemingly more missionaries than accommodation, Dieter and I shared a bedroom together once he came back: But here dear reader is the heart of a servant; Dieter's group had acquired some containers which they changed into bed-rooms with working space for the permanent missionaries, guest like myself were housed in the main house.
I am used to heat, but let it be known that Dar e Salaam in mid-January is a tropical nightmare and unfortunately the house was old & massively hot, I mean really hot, where as the containers where Dieter and the others slept were much more ventilated and cooler - Dieter gave over occupancy of his container to another visitor from Germany whom I was supposed to bunk up with AND MOVED INTO MY STUFFY HOT ROOM TO KEEP ME COMPANY! And this he did immediately on meeting me for the first time, it was not a question that he needed to, or had got to know what a great guy I am (ha ha joke) - HE JUST GAVE UP HIS ROOM OUT OF LOVE FOR HIS, UNTIL THEN UNKNOWN, BROTHER IN MESSIAH FROM NAMIBIA!
This arrangement did however have the benefit of us being able to speak late into the night, it enabled us to pray together, study Scripture and strangely enough speak about Namibia, family and common experiences in Afrikaans from time to time (this is something I discovered very quickly, when deprived of your language, culture and so forth you feel extremely lonely and exposed).
Anyway the day came for my departure from Dar e Salaam and the mission station arrived, I was now planning to move North to Kenya with other missionaries that I also had miraculously met (another whole chapter in and of itself), and believe it or not as I stated above, sitting here today praying and trying to write this blog for the umpteenth time, I, for the very first time, see a deeper aspect of Dieter's parting words to me now than I did then, these words were:
"I have been asking God why you are needing to walk to Israel, and I believe all that I get is that God is requiring of you to sacrifice your Isaac and this has massively challenged me because I am asking myself now HAVE I GIVEN MY EVERYTHING FOR JESUS?"And this from a 28 year old man who had left home, family and country to work under what would be called a "primitive 3rd world tribe"; a young man who had so integrated with this tribe that he spoke, wrote and read their local language fluently, who was loved and respected by the entire tribe, a young man who just before I left asked me to please agree with him in prayer that YHWH would provide him with a wife of YHWH's choice to join him in the mission field!
I was so humbled, but when this young man gave me some of the money he had received just the previous day from people who sponsored his work in Tanzania, he then uttered the words "Thank you" to say that I was rocked to my core would be an understatement!
As YHWH willed this young brother in Messiah died in an accident in the Mission field's of Tanzania just a few months after this episode, but praise YHWH I was able to see him again before he was taken home.
A few months after his death, I was back in Tsumeb, Dieter's father approached me at a prayer meeting (his parents are children of the most high) and put one of Dieter's last letters into my hand and asked me to read it; the letter was a news letter addressed to people on his mailing list - IN THIS LETTER DIETER SAID THAT HE HAD BEEN CHALLENGED TO SEARCH HIMSELF, AND WAS COMPELLED TO ASK HIMSELF & OTHERS "HAVE WE GIVEN UP EVERYTHING FOR JESUS?"
Well here was young man who had given up everything for His Elohim, literally! What an honour to have known him, and what an honour to have been used in some way, but what is indeed humbling is that I was not even aware that I had served him, and at my weakest I was needing to be served by him!
YHWH Elohim allowed me to serve one of HIS Disciples, one of HIS Royal Priests in the eternal Order of Melchizedek, and more importantly for me, YHWH allowed me to serve a Brother in Messiah AND I DID NOT EVEN KNOW I WAS SERVING HIM!
The Dieter I grew to know in that short time I do not believe would ever have thought highly of himself, in fact if he were here now he may have even told me not to write what I have, but I write not to honour him, and definitely not in honour to myself - I MAKE MENTION OF THIS TO THE HONOUR AND THE GLORY OF OUR MESSIAH AND KING YESHUA HAMESSIACH, OUR REDEEMER!
I know today that I will most certainly see a glorified Dieter some day, then we shall talk again of Namibia, Tanzania AND THE ETERNITY OF YESHUA!
That is part of my hope in Messiah, that is part of my journey back to Yisrael - a journey which I undertook 16 years ago and which I am only now really beginning to reap the fruits of.
So what if anything have I learnt from "walking to Israel" so far? It never ends this side of eternity, it constantly provides us with Fruit from the Tree of Life, and most importantly - THE WALK TO ISREAL IS A JOURNEY OF DISCOVERING MESSIAH AND BEING IN HIM, TRUSTING HIM NO MATTER WHAT THE PHYSICAL MAY LOOK LIKE: THE WALK TO ISRAEL IS ABOUT ME GETTING OUT OF MYSELF, GIVING MY ALL, WHICH IS NOT MINE ANYWAY, SO THAT I CAN DISCOVER MYSELF IN MESSIAH YESHUA OUR PROTECTION AND HIGH TOWER. THE WALK TO ISRAEL HAS MUCH MORE TO DO WITH OUR SPIRIT THAN OUR FLESH!
Here I shall stop, there is a tome of writing still under this blog, but that dear brother and sister in Messiah is for another day, Abba willing.
May I please leave each and every one of us with this thought/Question?
"HAVE WE GIVEN UP EVERYTHING FOR YHWH?"
That is as far as my walk to Yisrael has taken me today, and I hope you have been able to come along on the walk with me, but please let us now stop looking at each other and judging and let us know that if we are not able to give up everything for our Messiah, our Betrothed, and this includes our prejudices and wills -WE WILL NOT GET TO WALK TO YISRAEL. IT IS HIM WHO MAKES US FAMILY, IT IS HIM WHO ALLOWS US TO WALK TO YISRAEL - IF WE WILL LET HIM LEAD US!
The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes, leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, there he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice. My beloved speaks and says to me “Arise, my love, my beautiful one and come away, for behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away. SOS 2:8-13 (ESV)
Let us ask HIM to help us see HIM for Who HE is lest we forget that nothing belongs to us - IT ALL BELONGS TO HIM!
Shabbat shalom in Messiah Yeshua
Bo'az
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